C
Saturday, December 25, 2004
No-nonsense thespian from Hollywood's
pre-McCarthy golden age, when left-leaning
public enemies still enjoyed popular
support from the cinema-going public.
Proved even tough guys can get happy feet.
Joseph Campbell
Respected, sagelike authority
on the world's various religious
traditions and illuminator of
the universal qualities common
to their individual myths.
Alan Watts minus the ego.
Lewis Carroll
Born Charles Dodgson, this stuttering
19th-century British author and poet
continues to charm readers young and old
alike with his hallucinatory settings
and gleefully ridiculous wordplay.
An inspirational figure for mindscape pioneers.
Rachel Carson
Marine biologist whose landmark book, Silent Spring,
finally made environmentalism respectable
Canadian-born editor of Vanity Fair,
co-founder of Spy magazine and guardian of good taste.
More than two decades after his defeat
at the hands of an addle-brained film actor, this
small-town Georgia peanut farmer turned
President remains a vital force for good,
his old-fashioned work ethic and humanitarian
concerns continuing to provide hands-on
support for those most in need.
Leadership worth emulating.
George Washington Carver
A former slave turned chemist, Carver arrived at
Alabama's Tuskegee Institute in 1897 at the behest
of founder Booker T. Washington. Serving as its
Director of Agriculture, he ultimately helped to
convince Southern farmers to plant goobers as a
second, soil-enriching cash crop in the face of
king cotton's decimation by the dreaded boll weavil.
The living, breathing Mr. Peanut.
Raymond Carver
Master short story writer, poet and occasional essayist
whose untimely death at the age of fifty left a glaring
gap on many readers' nightstands the world over.
A true hero of perception and communication.
Johnny Cash
Much-missed Man in Black whose nearly
fifty-year recorded legacy runs the
gamut of rock & roll, deep country,
western ballads, protest folk and back.
Contrary to rumor, never shot a man in Reno
or anywhere else, as far as we can determine.
Celesta
Invented by Parisian Auguste Mustel in 1886,
this glockenspiel-like keyboard percussion
instrument's delicate, high-pitched, musicbox-like
tones have found use in a variety of settings,
from Tchaikovsky's Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy
to the themes from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood and
Harry Potter movies.
A pleasantly distinctive aural stimulant.
Charles Chaplin
Universally recognized as the clown prince of silent cinema,
Chaplin and his beloved Little Tramp deftly blended slastick
comedy with genuine pathos, evoking both laughter and tears
from an international audience while forever securing a place
in our collective hearts.
Pinko politics only add to his appeal.
Ray Charles
Genuine musical genius whose foresight in melding key gospel,
jazz and blues elements resulted in one of the cornerstone
styles of rock & roll before branching out and embracing soul,
mainstream pop and countrypolitan (!) forms.
A veritable Johnny Carson of the keyboard, despite his conservative
politics there's virtually no audience that hasn't embraced Brother Ray.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Nestled between mountains and seashore in the historic
and gorgeous Shenandoah Valley, small town Charlottesville
has played host to and nurtured the spirits of national
figures ranging from Thomas Jefferson, James Madison,
Meriwether Lewis and Edgar Allan Poe to Sissy Spacek,
John Grisham, Katie Couric and Dave Matthews.
A great place to live if we could afford it.
Chassahowitzka River
spring-fed waters of the Chassahowitzka provide local residents and tourists alike
with one of the best sites for leisurely canoeing in the sunshine state.
Anton Chekhov
A Russian physician turned playwright,
novelist and prolific master of the short story,
Chekhov didn't achieve international acclaim
until several years after his death, when his
works were finally translated into English.
The indisputed czar of objective fiction.
Chivas Regal
To our way of thinking, by far the tastiest and
most drinkable of affordable blended Scotches.
If single malts are so special, why did Glenlivet?
Noam Chomsky
A Philadelphia-born activist, author and professor emeritus of linguistics at MIT,
Chosmky’s exceptionally literate and knowledgable critiques of US foreign policy
continue to earn him as many fans as enemies.
Citroen 2CV
Beetle fans are mostly hippies, Mini Cooper drivers pricks,
but precious few oddballs seem to possess the good sense
to appreciate this distinctive French automobile in all its
unpretentious, distinctive and utilitarian glory.
Besides, they're sure to piss off the Freedom Fries contingent,
which a good many have come to recognize as a blessing in itself.
Samuel Clemens
Intelligent, cantakerous and perhaps a bit mad, the author and orator
who came to be known the world over as Mark Twain deftly blended
social commentary, pathos, pithy dialect and scathing wit into a
sweet & sour amalgam that trickles and lingers like a snort of fine brandy.
From amazing frogs to war prayers, his wild hairs and tall tales always bear repeating.
Kurt Cobain
Skinny, sawed-off, hyper-sensitive little punk
followed the mid-70s' DIY asthetic into a
brave new world of salvaged, radio-ready riffs,
pilled sweaters and stomach-churning aural assault.
Always at odds with the mainstream that made him an
icon and millionaire, the poor lad apparently found it
impossible to live up to his own guilt-riddled ideals.
The Coen Brothers
This pair of conspicuously-talented movie-making siblings
are responsible for a handful of the most memorable,
enjoyable (and often highly quotable) bits of celluloid
magic to emerge from Hollywood over the past couple decades.
Fans of "Raising Arizona," "The Big Lebowski"
and "O Brother, Where Art Thou" unite!
Coleman
Manufacturer of sturdy, dependable outdoor gear, ice chests and the like.
In short, the next best thing to a motor home, and much easier to park.
A Confederacy of Dunces
follows the misadventures of insufferable,
gaseous, rotund and mustachioed weiner vendor
Ignatius Riley about the pre-Katrina wonderland
that was New Orleans, Louisiana.
Satirical literature of the highest order.
Walter Cronkite
Known in ours and many an American household
as simply Uncle Walter, Mr. C proved an honest,
reliable guide to the Space Race, Vietnam and
the civil rights brouhaha of the late sixties
and early seventies (as well as a welcome
narrator on at least one favorite Disney attraction).
A sorely missed touch of class in evening news
before the duel onslaught of Dan (What's the Frequency?)
Rather and Ted Turner's CNN juggernaut.
Rodney Crowell
Houston-bred singer-songwriter weds meaningful lyrics and memorable melodies
to uncommonly clear-minded country hooks (and, at one point, Roseanne Cash).
A humble and oft-overlooked national treasure
